Dear You,
I am very glad I got to finally get to know you. But I don't believe we're destined to cross paths again.
It's nothing against you personally.
(Actually, not true.)
I
just feel that you are not a match for what I'm looking for. I'm the
kind of person that you can tell anything to and I wouldn't judge you.
If you were honest from the beginning.
But if you hide something and I find out later on, you are subject to my judgement.
And I don't expect you to care. Just letting you know.
I mean, I was under the impression that you had asked me, but in reality it was as if I had asked you.
(Which, according to popular consensus, doesn't even matter)
But
if I was made aware of your situation prior, it would not have been an
issue for me. Fuck whatever others say. I'd would have went and had fun.
I did have fun, don't mistake that. But I had fun eating.
You
interrupting me in the middle of my conversation to tell me I'm
beautiful is not what I require. I have a loving father who tells me
that everyday. I'm not one of these wounded chicks that need that type
of support. I thank you for trying, but it's not necessary.
Then
to be upset the week after our encounter that I wasn't interacting as
much after I specifically told you that I was going to be in training
for my new job is just further proof of me feeling like you weren't
really listening to me at all.
Again, to your defense, that may have worked before. You were sticking to what you knew.
And I understand that. I mean no shade or ill will or ire towards that.
But it's something that just doesn't work for me.
It's just too much. I'm kinda thinkin' that things would be better if we were just cool interweb pals.
I think that's fair, right?
So
again, thank you so much for trying. I wish you future success, and all
of the blessings that you deserve in this life and the next.
Love,
CuCu
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Pavo Frio.
My
favorite uncle came to visit me today. He currently lives in Georgia,
but his financial advisor lives here, so he paid him (and us) a visit.
The reason he's my favorite uncle is because of one simple thing:
He's the most honest person in my entire family.
No bullshit. No gimmicks. Even if it's not nice, pretty, or pristine, he'll always keep in 100.
He also came down to get some advice from his sister (my Moms) about another situation with another uncle (their brother). We'll call him Uncle #2.
Four years ago, Unc #2 and my father lost their jobs due to outsourcing. They had worked for the company (very well known and VERY wealthy) for about 20 years apiece. Seeing the loyalty, they were offered other positions within the company, but, of course, at lesser pay. My father accepted a position, while Unc #2, consumed with animosity and pride, declined. Four years later, my father is still in the same position he was offered with his old salary from his previous job while Unc #2 is still jobless. Fast forward 2 years later, where my favorite uncle got hit by a car in a horrific accident. After all the court fees, he got a substantial settlement. Long story short, Unc #2 is being provided for my my fav. uncle, to his own financial detriment.
It's now come to a head.
My fav. uncle is tired of being taken advantage of. Due to his stubborn pride, Unc #2 refuses to help himself and just rests on fav. uncle's laurels. A deadline has been set and my fav. uncle is afraid that this could end the relationship he has with his brother, and due to our family history, this usually leads to both parties erasing the other out of their lives. My grandmother did it to her daughter. One of my other uncles completely disowned all of us, including his own kids.
In other words, we're REAL good for this shit.
Now he (fav. uncle) is trying desperately to not let it get to that point. He doesn't want to hurt his brother, but he can't financially do it anymore. He can't take care of him, his wife, and pay for his brother in a whole other state either.
And he was asking my family (me, my sister, my parents) what he should do.
I've come to the realization that this is happening (in some form or another) to a lot of people I deal with, and can be translated to many different types of relationships.
Here's what I said.
First things first: If helping/caring for/loving someone is to your detriment, LET GO. If you are incapable of doing those things (help/care for/love) yourself, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO DO IT FOR SOMEONE ELSE. You can't.
Next, once someone you put all your care in, in any capacity, completely disregards how they are treating you, all interactions should be changed from personal to business. Being taken advantage of? Cut that shit off cold turkey and keep it moving. Someone not respecting your feelings? Cut that shit off and keep it moving. Someone completely ignoring your wants, needs, hopes, and desires?
CUT. THAT. SHIT. OFF. AND. KEEP. IT. MOVING.
As soon as the rules of engagement change on their end, in order for your self preservation and dignity to stay intact, you MUST change with it. Once the other party sees you ain't playing, they'll either renegotiate and try to work things out or leave for someone who wants to play on THEIR terms, so you really don't need that toxic person in your life ANYWAY. Let Go, Let God.
Buh-bye.
Now, no one said it's gonna be easy. You care about this person. You don't want to see them upset. But you hurting yourself is not gonna help them. Breaking away is THE HARDEST thing to do. I know what that feels like.
"I'll never get over it." "S/He'll never forgive me." "I'll never find that again."
(That second one is dependant on the situation. But personally I feel that if you've done nothing wrong, you shouldn't ask for forgiveness. But whatever.)
All those things can be true if you put yourself in that position. But if by involving yourself with someone causes you to lose/hurt you, you have to get out quick, or you risk sinking with the Titanic of a problem you chose to drown with.
I was in love with someone for far too long who depleted me as a person. Then it was over.
::snap:: Done.
And, I'll be the first to admit it. I hurt for 366 days. I went thru what I thought was the worst pain imaginable.
But on that 367th day, I felt something I didn't feel in a while.
Liberation.
To be rid of negative, heavy load that I chose to carry for so long was otherworldly. I didn't have to worry about hurting someone else's feelings because I was nurturing my own. Feeling that opened up many things that were closed off to me because I was so consumed by what I was giving to someone who didn't care.
The key is to put yourself in a position to both help yourself (FIRST), and others. And also to decipher who's not in it with you to help themselves, but to help build you up as well.
Now listen. You need to come to the realization that there are hard-headed people out there who need to learn the hard way. The only way they know not to touch the hot stove is to be burned by it.
Let them. Will it hurt them? Absolutely. Will it hurt you? Yes, but not as long as you think. And how long will solely depend on you. Will it ultimately help them? If they are truly receptive, Exponentially.
Cold Turkey is the hardest, but bravest decision to make when it comes to people who leech off of you financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically, with the best results in the long run.
Try it and see.
But if you don't, you're basically telling yourself that the only way for this person to be happy is if you're not.
MAKES NO SENSE.
Walk away, and if it reconnects organically and things have changed for the better, then you're well on your way to a happy life. If it leaves you permanently, you've just made room for someone better to occupy that space.
Win-Win.
CuCu
The reason he's my favorite uncle is because of one simple thing:
He's the most honest person in my entire family.
No bullshit. No gimmicks. Even if it's not nice, pretty, or pristine, he'll always keep in 100.
He also came down to get some advice from his sister (my Moms) about another situation with another uncle (their brother). We'll call him Uncle #2.
Four years ago, Unc #2 and my father lost their jobs due to outsourcing. They had worked for the company (very well known and VERY wealthy) for about 20 years apiece. Seeing the loyalty, they were offered other positions within the company, but, of course, at lesser pay. My father accepted a position, while Unc #2, consumed with animosity and pride, declined. Four years later, my father is still in the same position he was offered with his old salary from his previous job while Unc #2 is still jobless. Fast forward 2 years later, where my favorite uncle got hit by a car in a horrific accident. After all the court fees, he got a substantial settlement. Long story short, Unc #2 is being provided for my my fav. uncle, to his own financial detriment.
It's now come to a head.
My fav. uncle is tired of being taken advantage of. Due to his stubborn pride, Unc #2 refuses to help himself and just rests on fav. uncle's laurels. A deadline has been set and my fav. uncle is afraid that this could end the relationship he has with his brother, and due to our family history, this usually leads to both parties erasing the other out of their lives. My grandmother did it to her daughter. One of my other uncles completely disowned all of us, including his own kids.
In other words, we're REAL good for this shit.
Now he (fav. uncle) is trying desperately to not let it get to that point. He doesn't want to hurt his brother, but he can't financially do it anymore. He can't take care of him, his wife, and pay for his brother in a whole other state either.
And he was asking my family (me, my sister, my parents) what he should do.
I've come to the realization that this is happening (in some form or another) to a lot of people I deal with, and can be translated to many different types of relationships.
Here's what I said.
First things first: If helping/caring for/loving someone is to your detriment, LET GO. If you are incapable of doing those things (help/care for/love) yourself, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO DO IT FOR SOMEONE ELSE. You can't.
Next, once someone you put all your care in, in any capacity, completely disregards how they are treating you, all interactions should be changed from personal to business. Being taken advantage of? Cut that shit off cold turkey and keep it moving. Someone not respecting your feelings? Cut that shit off and keep it moving. Someone completely ignoring your wants, needs, hopes, and desires?
CUT. THAT. SHIT. OFF. AND. KEEP. IT. MOVING.
As soon as the rules of engagement change on their end, in order for your self preservation and dignity to stay intact, you MUST change with it. Once the other party sees you ain't playing, they'll either renegotiate and try to work things out or leave for someone who wants to play on THEIR terms, so you really don't need that toxic person in your life ANYWAY. Let Go, Let God.
Buh-bye.
Now, no one said it's gonna be easy. You care about this person. You don't want to see them upset. But you hurting yourself is not gonna help them. Breaking away is THE HARDEST thing to do. I know what that feels like.
"I'll never get over it." "S/He'll never forgive me." "I'll never find that again."
(That second one is dependant on the situation. But personally I feel that if you've done nothing wrong, you shouldn't ask for forgiveness. But whatever.)
All those things can be true if you put yourself in that position. But if by involving yourself with someone causes you to lose/hurt you, you have to get out quick, or you risk sinking with the Titanic of a problem you chose to drown with.
I was in love with someone for far too long who depleted me as a person. Then it was over.
::snap:: Done.
And, I'll be the first to admit it. I hurt for 366 days. I went thru what I thought was the worst pain imaginable.
But on that 367th day, I felt something I didn't feel in a while.
Liberation.
To be rid of negative, heavy load that I chose to carry for so long was otherworldly. I didn't have to worry about hurting someone else's feelings because I was nurturing my own. Feeling that opened up many things that were closed off to me because I was so consumed by what I was giving to someone who didn't care.
The key is to put yourself in a position to both help yourself (FIRST), and others. And also to decipher who's not in it with you to help themselves, but to help build you up as well.
Now listen. You need to come to the realization that there are hard-headed people out there who need to learn the hard way. The only way they know not to touch the hot stove is to be burned by it.
Let them. Will it hurt them? Absolutely. Will it hurt you? Yes, but not as long as you think. And how long will solely depend on you. Will it ultimately help them? If they are truly receptive, Exponentially.
Cold Turkey is the hardest, but bravest decision to make when it comes to people who leech off of you financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically, with the best results in the long run.
Try it and see.
But if you don't, you're basically telling yourself that the only way for this person to be happy is if you're not.
MAKES NO SENSE.
Walk away, and if it reconnects organically and things have changed for the better, then you're well on your way to a happy life. If it leaves you permanently, you've just made room for someone better to occupy that space.
Win-Win.
CuCu
Monday, February 27, 2012
Huh.
I know that whoever
I end up with I know I will be a challenge. I'm stubborn,
strong-willed, often erratic, and restless. Coming from a family of
mostly women, I've been around these personalities my whole life. I
admire women with strong personalities and are deeply rooted in their
moral beliefs and life perspective.
In that same vein, the men that accompanied them were the quiet, yet strong. Calm, yet commanding. Kinda like a tree. They don't make noise, aren't ostentatious in their color aspect, but hit one of those motherfuckers, and the one who ends up damaged is you.
No matter how hard these women came at them, at the end of it, the men endured, got their point across, taught the women a lesson, and loved them all at once. My parents are the prime example. Married 28 years, they've been through it all. My mother is probably the most diffucult woman I've ever come in contact with. While loving, sweet, caring and compassionate, she can be a little much. My father is her balance. They share the same qualities, but he's not so quick to pop off. But I'll be damned if he let my mother run all over him. There was no way in hell that my mother would attempt to bust his balls and she would win. My father set her straight without hurting her in any way, shape, or form. And my mother learned not to treat him that way anymore.
I am so sick and tired of men behaving like they can't tell their woman to knock it off. We as people are not perfect. There is gonna be a time when you do something that's gonna piss someone the fuck off. That's just the way it is. But if no one tells you "Hey. That shit that you're doing that pisses me off? Yeah that. Can you not do that anymore?", what's the point of stopping that kind of behavior? Stand your ground fellas! If her actions are something that you're not willing to deal with, then dammit, let her know! You don't let any other dude talk to you any type a way, why THE FUCK would you let some female?
Seriously, there's nothing worse than an emasculated man. It's like a plane without wings, or a car with no wheels. So much purpose, but no tools to execute it. Seriously, it's almost as sad as a starving African baby.
I may be a bitch sometimes, speak out of turn, and like I said before, be stubborn. But if wanting a strong man who will challenge me makes me all of those things, than so be it.
I don't want someone to run like a robot. Life is a battle. I want someone in the trenches with me.
Is that to much to ask for?
CuCu
In that same vein, the men that accompanied them were the quiet, yet strong. Calm, yet commanding. Kinda like a tree. They don't make noise, aren't ostentatious in their color aspect, but hit one of those motherfuckers, and the one who ends up damaged is you.
No matter how hard these women came at them, at the end of it, the men endured, got their point across, taught the women a lesson, and loved them all at once. My parents are the prime example. Married 28 years, they've been through it all. My mother is probably the most diffucult woman I've ever come in contact with. While loving, sweet, caring and compassionate, she can be a little much. My father is her balance. They share the same qualities, but he's not so quick to pop off. But I'll be damned if he let my mother run all over him. There was no way in hell that my mother would attempt to bust his balls and she would win. My father set her straight without hurting her in any way, shape, or form. And my mother learned not to treat him that way anymore.
I am so sick and tired of men behaving like they can't tell their woman to knock it off. We as people are not perfect. There is gonna be a time when you do something that's gonna piss someone the fuck off. That's just the way it is. But if no one tells you "Hey. That shit that you're doing that pisses me off? Yeah that. Can you not do that anymore?", what's the point of stopping that kind of behavior? Stand your ground fellas! If her actions are something that you're not willing to deal with, then dammit, let her know! You don't let any other dude talk to you any type a way, why THE FUCK would you let some female?
Seriously, there's nothing worse than an emasculated man. It's like a plane without wings, or a car with no wheels. So much purpose, but no tools to execute it. Seriously, it's almost as sad as a starving African baby.
I may be a bitch sometimes, speak out of turn, and like I said before, be stubborn. But if wanting a strong man who will challenge me makes me all of those things, than so be it.
I don't want someone to run like a robot. Life is a battle. I want someone in the trenches with me.
Is that to much to ask for?
CuCu
Monday, November 21, 2011
Can You Tell Me How To Get To Sesame Street?
I turn another year older on Sunday.
Boo.
Ok. I'll be 26. I'm calling this year the "Back To Basics" year. I want to just start over and use this time of my life as a jump off point to a new life. A new beginning. It's time to stray away from those old times of nonchalant-ness and start taking myself a little more seriously. I always wasn't as confident with myself and my potential, but lately with me being a little more productive and helpful at my job, I've gained that self-assuring attitude. I CAN actually do things, and do them very well. I may not have the marks to prove it necessarily, but I definitely have the ability.
Granted, maybe I'm a little late to the party. But better late than never, right?
I've learned a lot about myself and what and who I allow to have certain influence on me. Some of y'all got away with fucking murder. But, it was my fault, and I can only blame myself for giving you far too much credit. For putting you in such a special place, one you never deserved in the first place. Don't worry, it won't happen again. =)
I'm not the person I was before, so I'd understand if some won't like the changes. I'd hope that anyone, if they ever truly cared about me, would understand and join and help me on this journey I'm electing to take, because I think it's going to be a great thing. But if you don't want to embrace the new me, you can go suck wind for all I care. Because I like where I'm going. Even if it means I have to revisit some things from the (way far back) past. I know it will lead me to a bigger and brighter future.
To borrow from Gnarls Barkley's "Going On":
"And I’ll see you when you get there
But I’m going on
And I’m prepared to go it alone
I’m going on
May my love lift you up to the place you belong
I’m going on
And I promise I’ll be waiting for you"
CuCu
Boo.
Ok. I'll be 26. I'm calling this year the "Back To Basics" year. I want to just start over and use this time of my life as a jump off point to a new life. A new beginning. It's time to stray away from those old times of nonchalant-ness and start taking myself a little more seriously. I always wasn't as confident with myself and my potential, but lately with me being a little more productive and helpful at my job, I've gained that self-assuring attitude. I CAN actually do things, and do them very well. I may not have the marks to prove it necessarily, but I definitely have the ability.
Granted, maybe I'm a little late to the party. But better late than never, right?
I've learned a lot about myself and what and who I allow to have certain influence on me. Some of y'all got away with fucking murder. But, it was my fault, and I can only blame myself for giving you far too much credit. For putting you in such a special place, one you never deserved in the first place. Don't worry, it won't happen again. =)
I'm not the person I was before, so I'd understand if some won't like the changes. I'd hope that anyone, if they ever truly cared about me, would understand and join and help me on this journey I'm electing to take, because I think it's going to be a great thing. But if you don't want to embrace the new me, you can go suck wind for all I care. Because I like where I'm going. Even if it means I have to revisit some things from the (way far back) past. I know it will lead me to a bigger and brighter future.
To borrow from Gnarls Barkley's "Going On":
"And I’ll see you when you get there
But I’m going on
And I’m prepared to go it alone
I’m going on
May my love lift you up to the place you belong
I’m going on
And I promise I’ll be waiting for you"
CuCu
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
feMALES
I know that whoever
I end up with I know I will be a challenge. I'm stubborn,
strong-willed, often erratic, and restless. Coming from a family of
mostly women, I've been around these personalities my whole life. I
admire women with strong personalities and are deeply rooted in their
moral beliefs and life perspective.
In that same vein, the men that accompanied them were the quiet, yet strong. Calm, yet commanding. Kinda like a tree. They don't make noise, aren't ostentatious in their color aspect, but hit one of those motherfuckers, and the one who ends up damaged is you.
No matter how hard these women came at them, at the end of it, the men endured, got their point across, taught the women a lesson, and loved them all at once. My parents are the prime example. Married 28 years, they've been through it all. My mother is probably the most diffucult woman I've ever come in contact with. While loving, sweet, caring and compassionate, she can be a little much. My father is her balance. They share the same qualities, but he's not so quick to pop off. But I'll be damned if he let my mother run all over him. There was no way in hell that my mother would attempt to bust his balls and she would win. My father set her straight without hurting her in any way, shape, or form. And my mother learned not to treat him that way anymore.
I am so sick and tired of men behaving like they can't tell their woman to knock it off. We as people are not perfect. There is gonna be a time when you do something that's gonna piss someone the fuck off. That's just the way it is. But if no one tells you "Hey. That shit that you're doing that pisses me off? Yeah that. Can you not do that anymore?", what's the point of stopping that kind of behavior? Stand your ground fellas! If her actions are something that you're not willing to deal with, then dammit, let her know! You don't let any other dude talk to you any type a way, why THE FUCK would you let some female?
Seriously, there's nothing worse than an emasculated man. It's like a plane without wings, or a car with no wheels. So much purpose, but no tools to execute it. Seriously, it's almost as sad as a starving African baby.
I may be a bitch sometimes, speak out of turn, and like I said before, be stubborn. But if wanting a strong man who will challenge me makes me all of those things, than so be it.
I don't want someone to run like a robot. Life is a battle. I want someone in the trenches with me.
Is that to much to ask for?
CuCu
In that same vein, the men that accompanied them were the quiet, yet strong. Calm, yet commanding. Kinda like a tree. They don't make noise, aren't ostentatious in their color aspect, but hit one of those motherfuckers, and the one who ends up damaged is you.
No matter how hard these women came at them, at the end of it, the men endured, got their point across, taught the women a lesson, and loved them all at once. My parents are the prime example. Married 28 years, they've been through it all. My mother is probably the most diffucult woman I've ever come in contact with. While loving, sweet, caring and compassionate, she can be a little much. My father is her balance. They share the same qualities, but he's not so quick to pop off. But I'll be damned if he let my mother run all over him. There was no way in hell that my mother would attempt to bust his balls and she would win. My father set her straight without hurting her in any way, shape, or form. And my mother learned not to treat him that way anymore.
I am so sick and tired of men behaving like they can't tell their woman to knock it off. We as people are not perfect. There is gonna be a time when you do something that's gonna piss someone the fuck off. That's just the way it is. But if no one tells you "Hey. That shit that you're doing that pisses me off? Yeah that. Can you not do that anymore?", what's the point of stopping that kind of behavior? Stand your ground fellas! If her actions are something that you're not willing to deal with, then dammit, let her know! You don't let any other dude talk to you any type a way, why THE FUCK would you let some female?
Seriously, there's nothing worse than an emasculated man. It's like a plane without wings, or a car with no wheels. So much purpose, but no tools to execute it. Seriously, it's almost as sad as a starving African baby.
I may be a bitch sometimes, speak out of turn, and like I said before, be stubborn. But if wanting a strong man who will challenge me makes me all of those things, than so be it.
I don't want someone to run like a robot. Life is a battle. I want someone in the trenches with me.
Is that to much to ask for?
CuCu
Friday, August 19, 2011
Real Talk
More and more I'm hearing females
say "Guys get away with being dogs/assholes/bitches, etc. (choose your
favorite), and it's not fair. I hate the double standard. If guys can do
it, so can I."
Tsk, tsk, ladies.
Seriously though, what are you thinking? Call me old school but there are gender roles. Ones that I am very comfortable with. There's a reason why girls are looked at crazy when they do the same thing as dudes. Because women are naturally and anatomically "receivers", the fact that you allow a numerous amount of people "in" it makes you look untrustworthy, unstable, and frankly, gross. Think about it. You never really want to go where everybody's been. And if you do, it's only to check out what the hype's about, not to call it your go-to spot.
Also, back in the bible times (even currently in parts of the Middle East and possibly the world) if you had a lot of women, 1) You were rich. You couldn't have that many women and NOT have some significant cheese, 2) You were a man of high status. You were THE MAN if you had that many females in your repertoire. Which meant you had lots of land, property, livestock, etc. and you had mad kids, which meant your legacy would live on after the man died, and 3) All those women knew (happily) their roles. Chick #1 was Main Wifey. Chicks 2-4 were Subordinate Wifeys. Chicks 5-10 Were Jumpoffs (concubines). In today's society, all of those notions are still around, for the most part. And all of those things makes a guy attractive. If you deny this, YOU ARE A LIAR.
Now, the reason why guys "get away with it" if you will is because they're more naturally equipped to deal with the backlash of behaving that way. They can very easily (almost biologically) shut off all emotion and behave in an almost robot-like state. They do things just to do em. Because they are not in a position, naturally, to "let someone in". It's second nature. They are the ones, for lack of a better explanation, doing the penetrating. All of the "extra" falls on us: should we let him in or not?
We as women cannot, NATURALLY (there's a reason why that word is in bold and underlined) do the same. I say "naturally" because it can be done, but it involves a lot of self exploration, deep thinking, and having a secure strong sense of self. We have to consciously put forth a strangely unfamiliar effort into do something so contrary to our second nature. Once you do that and can be comfortable, hey, do what you do.
But there is another aspect.
When guys do their worst, 9.99 times out of 10, if they could give less than 4 fucks about what people will think of/say about them. Again, without that self exploration, deep thought, and secure strong sense of self, ladies, sorry to say, we can't do it. We care. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. As much as it almost shames me to say so, it's the truth. If you could care less, again I say, do what you do. I can't/won't judge. Some women can do it.
But I will say this, with the utmost confidence:
It will only work UNTIL YOU MEET SOMEONE YOU FALL FOR. It happens with guys too, but it's harder for them to fall. Ladies, we have a tendency to fall hard and fast, so its more likely that the facade won't last as long.
Like I previously stated, I'm happy with the gender roles and the way that they are. When I feel emotionally and mentally stable to pursue situations and relationships like men do, I'll do it. But I'm not gonna fight my hard-wiring, and in my opinion, women shouldn't either. Because NO GUY will want to be seriously involved with someone who thinks/acts like him. Fucking/liking a girl who is in all aspects (except anatomically) a male? NOT HAPPENING. I say that with confidence and certainty.
And lets flip it around for a sec. No woman wants a guy who's in touch with their feelings, and emotional and soft and overtly nurturing (in a womanly, almost motherly way, I mean), I don't care what she says. When guys say that most girls want the assholes, there is some truth to that statement. Asshole-ish guys are just that: GUYS, in the purest sense of the word. And ladies, we likes. A lot.
I personally don't want one or the other, individually. I want a nice mix of both. A real practical true to life guy's GUY who, once you get to know him, and after he gets to know me and then we get to liking each other and then deems me trustworthy and lets me in, then he'll show me his nicer caring side. I'd prefer to be with someone who is more careful about who they allow to see more intimate sides to them than someone who's all willy-nilly with it.
"You're cool and pretty. I love you, here's all of me!!"
Um. NO.
Sorry to put us on blast ladies, but once we are honest with ourselves and our nature, then and only then can guys can begin to try to understand where we come from. For some reason, guys know their nature and embrace it wholeheartedly and use it to their advantage while we sit back and try to fight who we are, like birds trying to fly a plane. We already have wings.
FLY.
CuCu
Tsk, tsk, ladies.
Seriously though, what are you thinking? Call me old school but there are gender roles. Ones that I am very comfortable with. There's a reason why girls are looked at crazy when they do the same thing as dudes. Because women are naturally and anatomically "receivers", the fact that you allow a numerous amount of people "in" it makes you look untrustworthy, unstable, and frankly, gross. Think about it. You never really want to go where everybody's been. And if you do, it's only to check out what the hype's about, not to call it your go-to spot.
Also, back in the bible times (even currently in parts of the Middle East and possibly the world) if you had a lot of women, 1) You were rich. You couldn't have that many women and NOT have some significant cheese, 2) You were a man of high status. You were THE MAN if you had that many females in your repertoire. Which meant you had lots of land, property, livestock, etc. and you had mad kids, which meant your legacy would live on after the man died, and 3) All those women knew (happily) their roles. Chick #1 was Main Wifey. Chicks 2-4 were Subordinate Wifeys. Chicks 5-10 Were Jumpoffs (concubines). In today's society, all of those notions are still around, for the most part. And all of those things makes a guy attractive. If you deny this, YOU ARE A LIAR.
Now, the reason why guys "get away with it" if you will is because they're more naturally equipped to deal with the backlash of behaving that way. They can very easily (almost biologically) shut off all emotion and behave in an almost robot-like state. They do things just to do em. Because they are not in a position, naturally, to "let someone in". It's second nature. They are the ones, for lack of a better explanation, doing the penetrating. All of the "extra" falls on us: should we let him in or not?
We as women cannot, NATURALLY (there's a reason why that word is in bold and underlined) do the same. I say "naturally" because it can be done, but it involves a lot of self exploration, deep thinking, and having a secure strong sense of self. We have to consciously put forth a strangely unfamiliar effort into do something so contrary to our second nature. Once you do that and can be comfortable, hey, do what you do.
But there is another aspect.
When guys do their worst, 9.99 times out of 10, if they could give less than 4 fucks about what people will think of/say about them. Again, without that self exploration, deep thought, and secure strong sense of self, ladies, sorry to say, we can't do it. We care. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. As much as it almost shames me to say so, it's the truth. If you could care less, again I say, do what you do. I can't/won't judge. Some women can do it.
But I will say this, with the utmost confidence:
It will only work UNTIL YOU MEET SOMEONE YOU FALL FOR. It happens with guys too, but it's harder for them to fall. Ladies, we have a tendency to fall hard and fast, so its more likely that the facade won't last as long.
Like I previously stated, I'm happy with the gender roles and the way that they are. When I feel emotionally and mentally stable to pursue situations and relationships like men do, I'll do it. But I'm not gonna fight my hard-wiring, and in my opinion, women shouldn't either. Because NO GUY will want to be seriously involved with someone who thinks/acts like him. Fucking/liking a girl who is in all aspects (except anatomically) a male? NOT HAPPENING. I say that with confidence and certainty.
And lets flip it around for a sec. No woman wants a guy who's in touch with their feelings, and emotional and soft and overtly nurturing (in a womanly, almost motherly way, I mean), I don't care what she says. When guys say that most girls want the assholes, there is some truth to that statement. Asshole-ish guys are just that: GUYS, in the purest sense of the word. And ladies, we likes. A lot.
I personally don't want one or the other, individually. I want a nice mix of both. A real practical true to life guy's GUY who, once you get to know him, and after he gets to know me and then we get to liking each other and then deems me trustworthy and lets me in, then he'll show me his nicer caring side. I'd prefer to be with someone who is more careful about who they allow to see more intimate sides to them than someone who's all willy-nilly with it.
"You're cool and pretty. I love you, here's all of me!!"
Um. NO.
Sorry to put us on blast ladies, but once we are honest with ourselves and our nature, then and only then can guys can begin to try to understand where we come from. For some reason, guys know their nature and embrace it wholeheartedly and use it to their advantage while we sit back and try to fight who we are, like birds trying to fly a plane. We already have wings.
FLY.
CuCu
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