I turn another year older on Sunday.
Boo.
Ok.
I'll be 26. I'm calling this year the "Back To Basics" year. I want to
just start over and use this time of my life as a jump off point to a
new life. A new beginning. It's time to stray away from those old times
of nonchalant-ness and start taking myself a little more seriously. I
always wasn't as confident with myself and my potential, but lately with
me being a little more productive and helpful at my job, I've gained
that self-assuring attitude. I CAN actually do things, and do them very
well. I may not have the marks to prove it necessarily, but I definitely
have the ability.
Granted, maybe I'm a little late to the party. But better late than never, right?
I've
learned a lot about myself and what and who I allow to have certain
influence on me. Some of y'all got away with fucking murder. But, it was
my fault, and I can only blame myself for giving you far too much
credit. For putting you in such a special place, one you never deserved
in the first place. Don't worry, it won't happen again. =)
I'm
not the person I was before, so I'd understand if some won't like the
changes. I'd hope that anyone, if they ever truly cared about me, would
understand and join and help me on this journey I'm electing to take,
because I think it's going to be a great thing. But if you don't want to
embrace the new me, you can go suck wind for all I care. Because I like
where I'm going. Even if it means I have to revisit some things from
the (way far back) past. I know it will lead me to a bigger and brighter
future.
To borrow from Gnarls Barkley's "Going On":
"And I’ll see you when you get there
But I’m going on
And I’m prepared to go it alone
I’m going on
May my love lift you up to the place you belong
I’m going on
And I promise I’ll be waiting for you"
CuCu
Monday, November 21, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
feMALES
I know that whoever
I end up with I know I will be a challenge. I'm stubborn,
strong-willed, often erratic, and restless. Coming from a family of
mostly women, I've been around these personalities my whole life. I
admire women with strong personalities and are deeply rooted in their
moral beliefs and life perspective.
In that same vein, the men that accompanied them were the quiet, yet strong. Calm, yet commanding. Kinda like a tree. They don't make noise, aren't ostentatious in their color aspect, but hit one of those motherfuckers, and the one who ends up damaged is you.
No matter how hard these women came at them, at the end of it, the men endured, got their point across, taught the women a lesson, and loved them all at once. My parents are the prime example. Married 28 years, they've been through it all. My mother is probably the most diffucult woman I've ever come in contact with. While loving, sweet, caring and compassionate, she can be a little much. My father is her balance. They share the same qualities, but he's not so quick to pop off. But I'll be damned if he let my mother run all over him. There was no way in hell that my mother would attempt to bust his balls and she would win. My father set her straight without hurting her in any way, shape, or form. And my mother learned not to treat him that way anymore.
I am so sick and tired of men behaving like they can't tell their woman to knock it off. We as people are not perfect. There is gonna be a time when you do something that's gonna piss someone the fuck off. That's just the way it is. But if no one tells you "Hey. That shit that you're doing that pisses me off? Yeah that. Can you not do that anymore?", what's the point of stopping that kind of behavior? Stand your ground fellas! If her actions are something that you're not willing to deal with, then dammit, let her know! You don't let any other dude talk to you any type a way, why THE FUCK would you let some female?
Seriously, there's nothing worse than an emasculated man. It's like a plane without wings, or a car with no wheels. So much purpose, but no tools to execute it. Seriously, it's almost as sad as a starving African baby.
I may be a bitch sometimes, speak out of turn, and like I said before, be stubborn. But if wanting a strong man who will challenge me makes me all of those things, than so be it.
I don't want someone to run like a robot. Life is a battle. I want someone in the trenches with me.
Is that to much to ask for?
CuCu
In that same vein, the men that accompanied them were the quiet, yet strong. Calm, yet commanding. Kinda like a tree. They don't make noise, aren't ostentatious in their color aspect, but hit one of those motherfuckers, and the one who ends up damaged is you.
No matter how hard these women came at them, at the end of it, the men endured, got their point across, taught the women a lesson, and loved them all at once. My parents are the prime example. Married 28 years, they've been through it all. My mother is probably the most diffucult woman I've ever come in contact with. While loving, sweet, caring and compassionate, she can be a little much. My father is her balance. They share the same qualities, but he's not so quick to pop off. But I'll be damned if he let my mother run all over him. There was no way in hell that my mother would attempt to bust his balls and she would win. My father set her straight without hurting her in any way, shape, or form. And my mother learned not to treat him that way anymore.
I am so sick and tired of men behaving like they can't tell their woman to knock it off. We as people are not perfect. There is gonna be a time when you do something that's gonna piss someone the fuck off. That's just the way it is. But if no one tells you "Hey. That shit that you're doing that pisses me off? Yeah that. Can you not do that anymore?", what's the point of stopping that kind of behavior? Stand your ground fellas! If her actions are something that you're not willing to deal with, then dammit, let her know! You don't let any other dude talk to you any type a way, why THE FUCK would you let some female?
Seriously, there's nothing worse than an emasculated man. It's like a plane without wings, or a car with no wheels. So much purpose, but no tools to execute it. Seriously, it's almost as sad as a starving African baby.
I may be a bitch sometimes, speak out of turn, and like I said before, be stubborn. But if wanting a strong man who will challenge me makes me all of those things, than so be it.
I don't want someone to run like a robot. Life is a battle. I want someone in the trenches with me.
Is that to much to ask for?
CuCu
Friday, August 19, 2011
Real Talk
More and more I'm hearing females
say "Guys get away with being dogs/assholes/bitches, etc. (choose your
favorite), and it's not fair. I hate the double standard. If guys can do
it, so can I."
Tsk, tsk, ladies.
Seriously though, what are you thinking? Call me old school but there are gender roles. Ones that I am very comfortable with. There's a reason why girls are looked at crazy when they do the same thing as dudes. Because women are naturally and anatomically "receivers", the fact that you allow a numerous amount of people "in" it makes you look untrustworthy, unstable, and frankly, gross. Think about it. You never really want to go where everybody's been. And if you do, it's only to check out what the hype's about, not to call it your go-to spot.
Also, back in the bible times (even currently in parts of the Middle East and possibly the world) if you had a lot of women, 1) You were rich. You couldn't have that many women and NOT have some significant cheese, 2) You were a man of high status. You were THE MAN if you had that many females in your repertoire. Which meant you had lots of land, property, livestock, etc. and you had mad kids, which meant your legacy would live on after the man died, and 3) All those women knew (happily) their roles. Chick #1 was Main Wifey. Chicks 2-4 were Subordinate Wifeys. Chicks 5-10 Were Jumpoffs (concubines). In today's society, all of those notions are still around, for the most part. And all of those things makes a guy attractive. If you deny this, YOU ARE A LIAR.
Now, the reason why guys "get away with it" if you will is because they're more naturally equipped to deal with the backlash of behaving that way. They can very easily (almost biologically) shut off all emotion and behave in an almost robot-like state. They do things just to do em. Because they are not in a position, naturally, to "let someone in". It's second nature. They are the ones, for lack of a better explanation, doing the penetrating. All of the "extra" falls on us: should we let him in or not?
We as women cannot, NATURALLY (there's a reason why that word is in bold and underlined) do the same. I say "naturally" because it can be done, but it involves a lot of self exploration, deep thinking, and having a secure strong sense of self. We have to consciously put forth a strangely unfamiliar effort into do something so contrary to our second nature. Once you do that and can be comfortable, hey, do what you do.
But there is another aspect.
When guys do their worst, 9.99 times out of 10, if they could give less than 4 fucks about what people will think of/say about them. Again, without that self exploration, deep thought, and secure strong sense of self, ladies, sorry to say, we can't do it. We care. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. As much as it almost shames me to say so, it's the truth. If you could care less, again I say, do what you do. I can't/won't judge. Some women can do it.
But I will say this, with the utmost confidence:
It will only work UNTIL YOU MEET SOMEONE YOU FALL FOR. It happens with guys too, but it's harder for them to fall. Ladies, we have a tendency to fall hard and fast, so its more likely that the facade won't last as long.
Like I previously stated, I'm happy with the gender roles and the way that they are. When I feel emotionally and mentally stable to pursue situations and relationships like men do, I'll do it. But I'm not gonna fight my hard-wiring, and in my opinion, women shouldn't either. Because NO GUY will want to be seriously involved with someone who thinks/acts like him. Fucking/liking a girl who is in all aspects (except anatomically) a male? NOT HAPPENING. I say that with confidence and certainty.
And lets flip it around for a sec. No woman wants a guy who's in touch with their feelings, and emotional and soft and overtly nurturing (in a womanly, almost motherly way, I mean), I don't care what she says. When guys say that most girls want the assholes, there is some truth to that statement. Asshole-ish guys are just that: GUYS, in the purest sense of the word. And ladies, we likes. A lot.
I personally don't want one or the other, individually. I want a nice mix of both. A real practical true to life guy's GUY who, once you get to know him, and after he gets to know me and then we get to liking each other and then deems me trustworthy and lets me in, then he'll show me his nicer caring side. I'd prefer to be with someone who is more careful about who they allow to see more intimate sides to them than someone who's all willy-nilly with it.
"You're cool and pretty. I love you, here's all of me!!"
Um. NO.
Sorry to put us on blast ladies, but once we are honest with ourselves and our nature, then and only then can guys can begin to try to understand where we come from. For some reason, guys know their nature and embrace it wholeheartedly and use it to their advantage while we sit back and try to fight who we are, like birds trying to fly a plane. We already have wings.
FLY.
CuCu
Tsk, tsk, ladies.
Seriously though, what are you thinking? Call me old school but there are gender roles. Ones that I am very comfortable with. There's a reason why girls are looked at crazy when they do the same thing as dudes. Because women are naturally and anatomically "receivers", the fact that you allow a numerous amount of people "in" it makes you look untrustworthy, unstable, and frankly, gross. Think about it. You never really want to go where everybody's been. And if you do, it's only to check out what the hype's about, not to call it your go-to spot.
Also, back in the bible times (even currently in parts of the Middle East and possibly the world) if you had a lot of women, 1) You were rich. You couldn't have that many women and NOT have some significant cheese, 2) You were a man of high status. You were THE MAN if you had that many females in your repertoire. Which meant you had lots of land, property, livestock, etc. and you had mad kids, which meant your legacy would live on after the man died, and 3) All those women knew (happily) their roles. Chick #1 was Main Wifey. Chicks 2-4 were Subordinate Wifeys. Chicks 5-10 Were Jumpoffs (concubines). In today's society, all of those notions are still around, for the most part. And all of those things makes a guy attractive. If you deny this, YOU ARE A LIAR.
Now, the reason why guys "get away with it" if you will is because they're more naturally equipped to deal with the backlash of behaving that way. They can very easily (almost biologically) shut off all emotion and behave in an almost robot-like state. They do things just to do em. Because they are not in a position, naturally, to "let someone in". It's second nature. They are the ones, for lack of a better explanation, doing the penetrating. All of the "extra" falls on us: should we let him in or not?
We as women cannot, NATURALLY (there's a reason why that word is in bold and underlined) do the same. I say "naturally" because it can be done, but it involves a lot of self exploration, deep thinking, and having a secure strong sense of self. We have to consciously put forth a strangely unfamiliar effort into do something so contrary to our second nature. Once you do that and can be comfortable, hey, do what you do.
But there is another aspect.
When guys do their worst, 9.99 times out of 10, if they could give less than 4 fucks about what people will think of/say about them. Again, without that self exploration, deep thought, and secure strong sense of self, ladies, sorry to say, we can't do it. We care. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. As much as it almost shames me to say so, it's the truth. If you could care less, again I say, do what you do. I can't/won't judge. Some women can do it.
But I will say this, with the utmost confidence:
It will only work UNTIL YOU MEET SOMEONE YOU FALL FOR. It happens with guys too, but it's harder for them to fall. Ladies, we have a tendency to fall hard and fast, so its more likely that the facade won't last as long.
Like I previously stated, I'm happy with the gender roles and the way that they are. When I feel emotionally and mentally stable to pursue situations and relationships like men do, I'll do it. But I'm not gonna fight my hard-wiring, and in my opinion, women shouldn't either. Because NO GUY will want to be seriously involved with someone who thinks/acts like him. Fucking/liking a girl who is in all aspects (except anatomically) a male? NOT HAPPENING. I say that with confidence and certainty.
And lets flip it around for a sec. No woman wants a guy who's in touch with their feelings, and emotional and soft and overtly nurturing (in a womanly, almost motherly way, I mean), I don't care what she says. When guys say that most girls want the assholes, there is some truth to that statement. Asshole-ish guys are just that: GUYS, in the purest sense of the word. And ladies, we likes. A lot.
I personally don't want one or the other, individually. I want a nice mix of both. A real practical true to life guy's GUY who, once you get to know him, and after he gets to know me and then we get to liking each other and then deems me trustworthy and lets me in, then he'll show me his nicer caring side. I'd prefer to be with someone who is more careful about who they allow to see more intimate sides to them than someone who's all willy-nilly with it.
"You're cool and pretty. I love you, here's all of me!!"
Um. NO.
Sorry to put us on blast ladies, but once we are honest with ourselves and our nature, then and only then can guys can begin to try to understand where we come from. For some reason, guys know their nature and embrace it wholeheartedly and use it to their advantage while we sit back and try to fight who we are, like birds trying to fly a plane. We already have wings.
FLY.
CuCu
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