.:Pharrell & Legos:.

I'm building something.

Something incredible.

My happiness has been thru the roof lately. Contrary to what my last blog says (bum), I have been crazily overjoyed with happiness. Not only in my personal life, but in my loved ones lives as well.

My mom and dad are stronger than ever. My sister and I's bond is amazing. Getting rid of dead weight has liberated me like I never would have imagined.

My best friend is happy. It's so amazing to FINALLY see her get the love, happiness, and respect that she deserves. She's the most caring, giving person I know, and it's great to see her getting some of that back.

Now, don't get me wrong. Work still stresses me out, but hey. It's work. Even still, I think about how happy I am and it immediately diminishes the the stress.

A lot of it has to do with Him.

He changes my outlook. He allows me to come as I am, and  and because of that, he enters my mind, body, and soul.

No, it's not a boy. Or a girl, for clarification. It's God.

I had a strange dream the other day. I was frantically driving (HA!) around the city, looking feverishly for challah bread.

Yes. Challah bread.

Now when I say feverishly, think of moms clawing and fighting for Tickle Me Elmo dolls in Winter of '96. I HAD to have it.

The crazy part was that it wasn't even for me. Throughout the dream, I had a strong sense of "I NEED to give this to my family, or they'll DIE."

Crazy, right?

Bakery after bakery, I stormed in. Screaming desperately, "Do you have any loaves of challah bread?"

All met with a resounding "No."

The more bakeries I visited, the more the sinking feeling started to set in: my family is going to DIE.

By the end of the dream, I had pulled up to my house, crying in despair, because I didn't find any Challah Bread.

Yeah. I know.

I woke up with such a sense of deep, depressing sadness. And I didn't know why.

I spoke with my sister, and she was able to really break it down for me: I was needing to feed my life, my family, my loved ones, with God's word. If not, they may not be fulfilled.

I may not be fulfilled.

Because of stress and the sometimes distracting gravitational pull of new love, I had been pulling away from God. My daily devotionals, I had completely abandoned them. By no one's fault but my own.

After listening to my younger sis, and getting spiritually smacked in the head, I went right back to it. It's amazing what happens when you get back to where you're supposed to be. All of my happiness seemed....REALER. It seemed to be signed off by God. My relationships with my family, best friend, my love, seemed to be even more authentic. Like going from a black and white analog TV to digital HD 3D. Live and in technicolor.

God is something that's always been a part of my life. I wouldn't be able to function with out it. So while I was happy and distracted, it seemed to plateau. Not in a sense that I didn't feel good, but I wasn't able to see the possibilities. The happiness was happy, and the stressful was stressful, and that was the black bottom line.

Now, with my rejuvenation, I feel like the best is yet to come. While the stress is still stressful, I feel like I can take on anything. My love seems overwhelming, it the most FANTASTIC way. I feel that once I confront it head on, live and in person, I'll be overwhelmed with joy, to the point of tears. I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life, and the fact that I'm overwhelmed and I feel like I don't know what's gonna happen, is literally the best feeling in the world.

On top of that, feeling like this is where I'm supposed to be, what He wants for me, my life, my family, my future? Man.

It's exhilarating.

I'm ready.

CuCu